Recurring Dreams as Lazarus
(i)
outside someone shakes the trees for fruit the falling isn’t beautiful
No, I covet what’s inside each fruit dark seeds a whole second life
(ii)
a strange short season I scrub the tomb’s floor
a shine so, so Our Lady of the Sea’s blues shimmer, reflecting
(iii)
I contemplate what composes me shrouded sickbones as flute’s fire
a seabirds’ chant stench of a pandemic city but, morning’s wet wildflowers
but, bread, honey obedience in ash and milk, lavender body of the sun
(iv)
you can’t die twice we bury our dead we come back with oranges
we leave our dead we leave our dead to keep living to crown our sons
but, here where goats wander I still have sisters I remember it all
(v)
sometimes, you’re born to be one of God’s miracles a sadness come to change the world
O holy God, I feel your breath you float over me your unmistakable ghost
A 2017 NJ Council on the Arts poetry fellow, Nicole Rollender is the author of the poetry collection, Louder Than Everything You Love (Five Oaks Press), and four poetry chapbooks. She has won poetry prizes from Palette Poetry, Gigantic Sequins, CALYX Journal, and Ruminate Magazine. Her work appears in Alaska Quarterly Review, Best New Poets, The Journal, and Ninth Letter, among many other journals. Nicole is managing editor of THRUSH Poetry Journal, and holds an MFA from the Pennsylvania State University. She’s also co-founder and CEO of Strand Writing Services. Visit her online: nicolemrollender.com